I Will Never Die
by lionesslullaby
Summary: AU!Modern. The Herondales, Carstairs, Lightwoods, Fairchilds are the ones that run the world. They make up the Institute; the real New World Order and an international spy ring. The enemy? Pandemonium aka the dark result of the Institute. However, both groups have bigger problems. Enter hacker Clockwork Angel aka Tessa Gray. She has an agenda, and she never dies. - Discontinued
1. Introduction

Introduction –

"Get her! She went that way!" Screams echoed off the narrow brick halls of one of the many apartment complexes of Manhattan.

My breath was coming out in short bursts as I toward the open window. _Bang!_ A bullet ricocheted off the frame as I jumped feet first onto the fire escape. One look behind me says I have no time to waste. Immediately my hands are pulling me up the ladder one more floor to the roof.

"Thank the Angel these guys shoot like Stormtroopers," I mutter to myself as my black converse start carrying me to the rooftop door. Until said door bursts open revealing another two suits with guns. Skidding, my loose bangs fall in my face as I start zigzagging in the opposite direction. Thankfully, my hood remains in place.

After all knowing where one of my dummy hide-outs is located is one thing, knowing what I look like is another.

 _Bang! Bang!_ "Stop!" one of them yells.

 _Yeah…that's not happening_ I think as I speed up seeing the approaching edge.

"You'll never make that jump." _You'll never make a shot, but you still try._

The bag on my back, containing everything these…things want slaps against my back. A golden necklace pounds against my chest. They are my reminders: who I am, who they are, why I do what I do.

"Oh, I'll make it," I mutter as one foot plants itself on the ledge. "I will never die."

Twisting in the air, there is that moment of weightlessness. I don't weigh anything. As my pursuers skid to a stop, my left leg smacks the opposite building's ledge before my body drops onto its roof. Skinny jeans ripped, blood pooling I get up. No time to think. No time for pain, I'm running again.

Yells become fainter as they re-strategize. Too bad for them, I always have a strategy. As this roof reaches its end I hop onto down and catch myself on an open window. Pulling myself up, there are two pairs of eyes staring at me.

Hopping into the apartment, I pull my hood down before smiling sheepishly, "Sorry to interrupt. I got locked out." Before they can register my words, or remember my face, I'm out the door moving to the stairs. Pulling off my hoodie and rolling it up to hide my bag. Soon, I'm just another faceless person on the busy streets of Manhattan.

Pandemonium can try and shoot me. The Institute can send its Shadowhunters to recruit me. I know better. Anyone can betray anyone.

I am Tessa Gray. Everyone else knows me as the Clockwork Angel. And I can't be traced, I can't be identified. I will never be betrayed. I will never die.


	2. A World of Shadows

_A/N: Tessa will be a little OOC in this story purely for the fact that things are different. She is not ignorant in this story. This is basically the Infernal Devices IF Tessa knew almost everything from the beginning. Keep that in mind! PLEASE REVIEW!_

A World of Shadows

Tessa POV – April 2015

I'm groggy. I ache.

What, in Lucifer's reach, is that annoying beeping sound?

"Ugh," I moan as my left hand tries to find the ever-elusive off button on my alarm clock. Once it is off, I throw my arm over my eyes for a couple seconds. Finally, my grey eyes make an appearance. Blinking a couple times, I snarl before throwing my legs over the side of the bed. The left one is tightly bandaged.

Muttering I make my way to the bathroom to start off my day. "I train at the gym, I go half way across the city to take down a major crime syndicate, almost die, and save the world. What's the point of school?"

Shower, teeth, clothes. Make sure I put on underwear.

Coffee. Get coffee. Need coffee.

Pouring myself a healthy bowl of cereal as I wait for my liquid energy to finish brewing I look around my apartment. Yes, I said MY apartment. A couple months ago my aunt, and guardian, died. The other relatives…aren't options. I'm sixteen, so the courts let me take care of myself. After all, they think I got the funds to do so from my aunt. No need to tell them it came from private downers…who don't know it's gone yet.

There are no pictures in my apartment. No memories. I don't really have any good ones. The things I've done aren't exactly meant to be framed. However, there are books. Piles upon piles of books. The extra room in this apartment was turned into a library/study. Literature is the one thing I indulge in. It is my escape.

As I turn around to check on the coffee, I see the time: _7:48._ Shit! Bus is here in two minutes. I pour the coffee into a thermos, throw my messenger bag on my shoulder, and run down five flights of stairs. I jump on the city bus with five seconds to spare.

When I arrive at school, my leg is killing me. I'm just thankful it didn't need stitches. There are witnesses and records I don't need Pandemonium finding.

"Tessa!" I hear yelled across the courtyard of the public school I attend in Manhattan. Looking around, I find Sophie. Smiling, I wave her over. We've been best friends since I moved here after my aunt died. She's one of the few people in the world who don't make me think 'yup, I'm going to get my first assault charge today.'

She's that amazing.

Jogging up, I see she is wearing red skinny jeans, flower sandals, and a flowy yellow top. "Nice look, Sophie," I say as she comes to a stop beside me. "Did you join Amity?"

She just gives me a look as we walk toward the building they call a school. "First, I rocked these colors long before Veronica Roth ripped everyone's hearts in half. Second, how is it that the school lets you bring that bag to school?"

 **Nerd? I prefer the term 'Intellectual Badass'** is printed in bold letters across my bag. I shrug. "This is a public school in New York. The administration have a lot of other more pressing problems." Like violence, how to smuggle more money out of the budget, and how to hide the fact that half of them are screwing students.

I get bored in class, and hacking looks a lot like note typing when no one sits behind you and teachers don't care about their jobs.

"Besides," I say as we stop at our lockers. "We weren't talking about me. We're talking about you. The girl who dressed up when it isn't picture day or a holiday. A girl who hates dressing up. A girl who better not be doing it to be impressing one of those British douche nozzles."

Cue a bright blush. "No-tha-I mean…Can't I just want to look nice. It feels good sometimes! Don't you ever get tired of wearing that kind of stuff," she asks pointing at me. Jeans, a red racer back tank top, a black leather jacket, and my trusty black converse.

"You mean comfortable stuff? No."

"It's not like the Dauntless look is ever going out of style. It's just…change can be nice."

 _Not in my experience. Change means someone is playing puppet master._ "Which one is it? Tell me it isn't Herondale. Please, say it isn't Herondale." I plead as we walk to our morning math class.

"You think that low of me?"

"I think that low of him."

As if on cue, they're there. Every member of the next generation of Shadowhunters, the elite spies and soon-to-be rulers of the world in the Institute. Technically, they're supposed to be the good guys. I just consider them the lesser of two evils.

Ah, the Institute. The real New World Order. A group of very powerful families who have connections to governments, corporations, and militaries all around the world. Herondales, Carstairs, Fairchilds, Lightwoods, Morgenstern, Blackthorn, and Penhallow are the main ones. Most of them are deceitful bastards with power, guns, and martial arts training. Yeah, they're those kinds of assholes.

And right in front of me is an entire clan of them. Jace, Cecily, and William Herondale, Jem Carstairs, Clary Fairchild, and Alec, Isabelle, Gideon, and Gabriel Lightwood. All future rulers of the world and all Shadowhunters.

I must have had a look because Sophie sighed next to me, "You are such a nice person by nature, Tess. I don't know why you hate them."

"I don't hate all of them. I hate most of them and dislike the rest. They are just…off-putting. It's like no one is allowed near them, and the only ones that try are the stuck up girls that want to jump them. I'll just stick to my nerd friends thank you very much."

I take a big gulp of my coffee before muttering, "It was way too early to have this conversation."

Giggling, Sophie sits down in her desk next to me. "You're right. Can we have a different one?"

"Shoot."

"Why are you limping?"

Lie at the ready, I don't even have to hesitate, "Smacked it against my coffee table. Public service announcement, dancing like a maniac to Shake It Off can be dangerous."

Sophie let out a barking laugh before our teacher called the class to order.

The morning classes go smoothly until I reach my fifth period which is a study hall in the library. This is my down time – reading time. I'm set up in one of the few comfy chairs with Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell in my hands and my favorite classic waiting on the table, A Tale of Two Cities. I'll read anything and everything.

Loud voices break me out of my reading high. Ugh. The only downside to fifth period is that I share it with some of them. The British idiots that have turned me into an evolution denier. They moved here around the same time I did to live with their American cousins. William, Cecily, Jem, Gabriel, and Gideon created a different kind of British Invasion. I like most of the American ones better. The only one of the new brat pack that has any manners seems to be Jem. I don't know why they came, but in my mind putting almost every heir to the Institute in one place is a bad idea. Trying to get back to my reading, I hear my phone vibrate on the table.

It is one of the automatic news alert I have set myself up to see. Title reads: "British Authorities Continue to Look into Underground Gambling Club." Underground more like Underworld.

That club was a Pandemonium organization. It was designed to keep rich members happy and draw in underlings with drugs, alcohol, and/or gambling addiction. It was a major business in their operation. Too bad the Clockwork Angel had to find out about it.

Pandemonium…most people know this as the capital of Hell. Same rules apply here. It is the dark side of the Institute. The Institute basically created Pandemonium. If the Institute is SHIELD, Pandemonium is HYDRA. See, there were certain members of the high ranking families that thought the Institute was failing to do what needed to be done. They believe humanity can't stand freedom; ruling themselves is what has resulted in the destruction that occurs around the world. They also don't like that the Institute allows people to marry outsiders and hire "lesser" people to work for them. These guys are supremacists. Welcome to the Fourth Reich.

Power. That's what the Institute and Pandemonium fight over. They aren't that different. One group kills people, by the thousands, and one just doesn't do anything to stop them unless it is a direct threat to their rule. They don't sound all that different, do they?

They're not. But like I said…lesser of two evils.

The bell rings signaling the end of fifth period. I have one class left: English. The best class which is also invaded by a couple members of the Angel Squad.

As I sit in my desk, I feel someone staring at me. Looking up, bright blue eyes are burning into my grey ones. A cocky smirk signals the beginning of a headache.

William Herondale.

He's the definition of morally deficient from the information I've gathered. Even if he is one of the more progressive members I've heard about, there's something about him that puts me on guard. Quickly, I turn my attention to the front of the room. Worrying about him is not my first priority.

I have to get back to work.

Running my program should get me some insight into what their plan is.

And what my next move needs to be.


	3. Welcome to the Institute

_A/N: Thanks for the support! DISCLAIMER: I am not Cassandra Clare…damnit. I own the plot and that's it. Here is some responses to a couple of reviews I've gotten! Thank you everyone so much for all the amazing words of support. Keep REVIEWING!_

 _In response to a review by GUEST the answer is yes. She is wanted by Pandemonium for trying to take them down. The Institute wants to recruit her and use her because she is a better ally than enemy. She hates Pandemonium and doesn't trust the Institute for reasons ;)_

 _To SilverCarstairs 2: there will be a pairing that will start to make itself known very soon. Trust me though, I'd never do THAT to Will. I love him too much! Thank you for all your great compliments!_

Welcome to the Institute

Will's POV

"Will! Pay attention, and please stop doing whatever you're doing!" Jem whispers harshly in my ear.

Head in my folded arms, I peak up at him with one eye. "No. These people insist on treating us like children then preceding to bore us to death, and as such I reserve the right to act however it is I please."

Before Jem can say anything in response, I am on the receiving end of a DiNozzo slap curtesy of my baby sister, Cecily. Whipping my head around, I fix her with the patented Herondale glare. Only to find myself on the receiving end of one as well.

"Don't give me that. We all know this is pathetic and boring and completely repetitive, but that doesn't make it less important! Things are getting bad for us and Pandemonium is only getting stronger. They're just trying to figure out something to do!" She whispers harshly pointing down to the meeting floor of the Institute which we have a perfect view of from the box we're sitting on a floor up.

Yeah, right. "But they're not! I've listened to this over and over again. We all have," gesturing to all the children of the Institute's families. "And it's the same conversation! It's like they can't get rip their heads out of their conceded asses for enough time to figure out how to stop a cult of mass murdering psychopaths.

They never ask our opinion! We could actually be doing something, something we've been trained for, if Benedict and Robert could just stop being so stereotypically Lightwood for a second."

"Excuse me," Oh great. Gabriel's opened his mouth. "Don't you dare open your mouth against my family, Herondale. You are a disgrace to all Shadowhunters!"

"Have you met the patriarchs of your family? Talk about disgrace…"

Immediately, he's on his feet. Gideon shaking his head next to him. "If you weren't heir to your clan Herondale, it would be single combat. I'd break every bone in your body."

I stare at him for a moment. "Frankly, I'd try to insult you, but you wouldn't understand a word I'd say and I'm not in the mood to spend an hour explaining it to you."

"Don't even act Herondale. You're the one we're constantly explaining."

"Oh, sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure out where in the hell you got the idea that I cared."

Gabriel turned to Jem and asked, "How in the world can you stand being around him? I'd constantly feel like I'd need to visit a doctor to be sure he didn't infect me with whatever it is he has."

Scoffing I give him a pointed look, "It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor."

Before Gabriel could respond, he was on the receiving end of a DiNozzo slap from Isabelle.

"Sit down, you moron. Will's right, and you don't have a leg to stand on. Every single one of them down there are going to screw us," she points out flipping her long black hair behind her while fixing her with the Lightwood glare. Usually, it's nothing to worry about, but Izzy can be terrifying.

"Besides," Jem takes this moment to jump in, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Baiting Will into single combat would be like throwing sticks at a wild dog then being surprised when it rips your arm off."

Slowly turning my head to look at my partner, I raise my eyebrow, "Uh…thanks?"

"If you all are quite finished," A booming voice sounds from the meeting floor. At once we all turn to see my father, Edmund, standing there with a smile. "It's time for you all to come down here."

As we make our way down, I whisper in Jem's ear, "And if that's not proof that Lightwoods and power are a combination that should never exist under Heaven, I don't know what is."

Jem laughs as he lightly smacks my arm. Reaching the meeting floor we all go to stand next to the ruling members of our households.

"Now," Benedict Lightwood says. "If all weren't too busy quarreling, I assume you heard what it is we were discussing exactly?"

Ah, yes. One of the Pandemonium Clubs struck by the infamous Clockwork Angel earlier this last week. It resulted in the arrests of many of its top members, the draining of a couple hundred millions in their funds, and the death of one of their top members. Mrs. Black, one of the Dark Sisters and leader in the region, was gunned down. No one knows what happened to Mrs. Dark.

A chorus of yes rang throughout the room.

"In addition to Pandemonium being hacked, they retaliated against this…Clockwork Angel by somehow tracking her to a hideout in Manhattan and attempted to remove her. However, she got away from their top agents. Once again calling into question who she is, what we should do about, and how in the world our enemies found her."

"It was a con," Clary's mother, Jocelyn calls out from her spot. "She purposely left a geotag on the code she used to shut down and wipe everything in the club. I think she wanted to lure them in. We already know her program is substantial. It was probably running from a phone when they showed up allowing her to have access to their information and location. It gives her another opening."

"We need that program," Robert Lightwood says for the millionth time.

"We need help," my father argues. "Obviously, she has just as much hate for Pandemonium and what they stand for as we do. We need to show a sign of good faith. That we're the good guys."

I couldn't agree more. I only wonder…if we are the good guys. Looking around at some of the faces makes that a hard question to answer.

"No," Benedict argues back. Oh great, here we go. "We are the Institute. We don't need to prove anything. Either she helps us or we make her. We are losing our standing here. If we don't act, we lost everything we've worked so hard to gain since Johnathan Shadowhunter founded the Institute. We need to maintain our power."

"We need," my voice rings out in the circular room. "To stop sounding like the mafia."

"William," my mother tries and shushes me.

"No! Here you all are talking about power and what we deserve and blah blah blah. Pandemonium is killing people in drones. They let out a group of assassinations right near our home base. A hacker is out there doing more for the world than we have in almost a century. We were made to help people and we're talking about how to save ourselves? Anyone else think this sounds a lot like the manifestos we've received from the Magister?"

Izzy, Alec, Jace, Clary, Jem, and even Gideon raise their hands. "Until they started actually making moves against us," Jem continues my rant in a much calmer manner. "No one here lifted a finger to stop them from taking over and ruining countries."

"The Institute needs to go back to its original design," Alec agrees. "We're not supposed to be dictators."

"ENOUGH!" Benedict's, very dictator like, voice silences everyone. "None of you have any room to make requests."

Jem's Uncle shakes his head, "They will soon. What they say makes sense. We need some information on the Magister…and soon. Pandemonium has been making lots of different moves. They are preparing for something. Something that will costs lots of life maybe even get rid of humanity as the Magister has always wished."

"We're out of our depth," my dad agrees.

This…this…game. This constant circling around each other makes me sick. I give Jem a look and he nods back. Quietly we make our way out of the room to the vast halls of this maze that we live in.

"Your uncle is right," is the first thing I say. "They're going to be coming after us next. Those are our friends in there…their kids. Innocent people are going to become war casualties."

"Their pride is going to let whoever this Magister is get exactly what he wants," Jem agrees immediately.

We make our way outside to sit on the steps of the Institute. Though to passersby, it just seems like a big church. "Ever wish we were normal?" I ask as I lean back on my forearms letting the sun get rid of the chill that room always brings me.

"You mean getting to only worry about stuff like homework, college, and girls? Of course. We all do, but Izzy and Clary are the only ones that are actually brave enough to try."

"I'd love to try."

"You mean you'd like to ask out that nice brown-haired girl who glares at you ever chance you get?"

My mouth falls open as I stare at my best friend. "How dare you! Like I'd ever fond over a girl like Tessa Gray. Besides, she's obviously mental as she seems to find no interest in my supernaturally good looks."

"Or she has good taste. Besides, I never said I was talking about her."

"I want a new partner."

"No one else would have you."

"Now, I just feel attacked." I say after a moment, crossing my arms and turning my head away, pouting like a child.

"She is a very nice girl. We were partnered together in English class once. She's quite bright."

"So you're saying she's a know-it-all?"

"I'm saying she's too good for you."

In response, I give him a shove which he quickly returns with a laugh. We just sit there making fun of each other before we settle down again. I don't know what I'd do without Jem. Probably end up dead in a gutter somewhere. I'm not very nice.

"We need to get the Clockwork Angel," I say out of the blue as I stand.

"I know," Jem says standing next to me. "But…how are we supposed to find a ghost?"

"I don't know, but I know I'm done sitting around and talking," looking out at all the people walking by I shake my head. "We have a lot to lose, and I'll be damned if I let a Lightwood give me orders."

"You don't let anyone give you orders," Jem points out with the same scheming grin I have.

"People are idiots," I say as I start walking back up the stairs. "Come on. We've got work to do."


	4. The Confrontation

The Confrontation

Tessa's POV

At the end of the school week, I find myself back in fifth period working on finishing the books I started off the week with. Sadly, it has been a disappointing week on the Pandemonium front. The information I got from the people who chased me off the roof is minimal at best. I have a lot of puzzle pieces to put together.

Meaning almost no time for books. Saving the world is hard.

Oh, well. That's what this lax period is for after all. Losing myself in Fangirl I'm at the part where Cath is reading The Outsiders to Levi when a very loud voice breaks my concentration. No one respects libraries anymore. I turn around to face the doors to see who interrupted my OTP's moment.

I breathe hard through my nose. Of course. Who else but William Herondale?

Will is arguing very loudly with his best friend, and sidekick, James Carstairs.

"You can't just throw things at random ducks in the park! Park security doesn't tend to appreciate it," Jem points out calmly as Will stops right next to the chair I'm sitting in to face his friend with a shocked face.

"You dare to defend those dastardly creatures? Bloodthirsty little monsters. We should instigate a genocide on them before they get organized. Never trust a duck."

A snort escapes my mouth as I try to cover up the laughter. Ducks? The fierce Shadowhunter is scared of ducks?

However, the noise did not go unnoticed. Will and Jem both look my way. Jem gives me a friendly smile while Will feigns offense.

Hands on his hips he now addresses me, "What? Do you find the idea of our imminent doom funny?"  
"I find the idea of a 16 year old boy being scared of ducks funny. Are you afraid of baby kittens too? Do you think baby birds spend all their time in the nest planning on dive bombing us?" I ask giving him my sweetest smile.

It's situations like this that make me think I'm better than most people. Conceded? Yes. Wrong? Not really.

His very, very blue eyes look at all my things scattered on the end table next to me. Hating him would be easier if he wasn't so good looking. Hey, I'm vengeful not blind. Thankfully, he knows he's good looking and also knows how to use it. That helps.

Letting out a low whistle, he picks up A Tale of Two Cities which I always have with me. "A young adult book and a classic. Can't make up your mind? Or are you just trying to seem like you're better than everyone else even though in reality you've never even read a word of this one?"

"'Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities and good emotions, incapable of their directed exercise, incapable of his own help and his own happiness, sensible of the blight on him, and resigning himself to let it eat him away.'" I quote from the very book he just mentioned as I set the other one down, so I can stand and face him. "It's one of my favorites. Sorry, did I not tell you? Then it must not be any of your business."

Will's tsks as he smugly replies, "You know, you don't have to try and turn me off. You aren't my type."

"Why? Because I can read?"

"Because I can't imagine you with a personality."

I look him up and down before quirking my lip up into a smirk, "You know you'd be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth."

"It's like watching a tennis match," I hear Jem mutter to himself from his spot on the sidelines. "Will, stop making such an ass of yourself. Well…stop making more of an ass of yourself."

Will ticks up an eyebrow at his friend, "I'm not trying to be an ass. I'm just trying to understand why Ms. Gray here feels the need to bite my head off."

Shrugging my shoulders I respond, "I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter."

"You are testy today. Is it time for your monthly bleeding?"

"Will!" Jem yells appalled at his friend.

I roll my eyes, "No. And here I thought that people on the other side of the Atlantic were supposed to have better manners."

"Well, I'm terribly sorry. You just got that look you females get like you want someone to hurt as much as you. Were you thinking about making me bleed?"

"Amazingly…no."

"No one would blame you," Jem says casually putting a kind hand on my shoulders. His grey eyes are laughing. "He is very annoying."

"That he is," another voice comes from behind us. We turn around to see Gabriel Lightwood.

Will steps between me and Gabriel, "Who invited you into this conversation?"

"No one needed to. When I see a defenseless woman getting abused by you, I find it my duty to step in. Something you should have been doing, Carstairs," Gabriel states. Egotistical much?

"Tessa can handle herself," Jem says at the same time Will points a finger at me and responds, "Defenseless? I assure you, Lightworm, that she is perfectly capable of handling herself in a battle of wits."

Nodding in agreement I add, "In a battle of fists too, but beating the crap out of people physically is illegally while doing it mentally is a sport."

Gabriel moves Will out of the way to stand in front of me, "You know, you shouldn't hang around the likes of him. He tends to bring the people around him down. I can give you other options."

"How about I give you a ladder…so you can step out of my business," I ask trying to step away from him. "Because I am nowhere near that desperate."

"And you're not that lucky," Will points out stepping next to me.

"Get off of my side, Herondale."

"Sorry, but as the saying goes: the enemy of my enemy…"

"I am not your friend."

Both of us are too busy getting back into our argument that we don't see Gabriel stomping away towards his laughing brother. What we do notice is the bell ringing, signaling the end of fifth period.

"It's sad you feel that way," Will says as he begins to walk away. "If you didn't hate me, I'd have someone besides Jem to remind me that some people are worth my time."

"I don't hate you," I say as I gather up my stuff. Jem raises his eyebrows in surprise. "It's just my attitude has a problem with your personality. Besides you're not that lucky."

Will turns around to flash me that famous smile once more. "I'm also not that desperate."

As he walks away, I let out a frustrated growl. I go to grab my books that he moved only to see that Jem is standing there ready to hand them to me.

He gives me a very kind smile, "Mind walking to class together?"

Jem may be a Shadowhunter, but I can't hate him. He's too nice. Hitler would like this guy. "That'd be nice. Thank you, James."

"You can call me, Jem," he offers kindly.

Nodding my affirmation, I add, "Only if you call me Tessa and not Ms. Gray. It makes me sound like a seventy year-old librarian."

Laughing, we begin to make our way to the English corridor. As we walk, a question begins to form in my mind. "Why do you put up with him? Will, I mean. You guys are always together, and he's just so…" I trail off trying to find the right word. I don't want to be too mean purely because he's Jem's friend. That means he has to have some redeeming qualities.

"Irritating?" Jem offers

"Yeah, that covers most of it."

Jem looks like he is debating what to say next. His hair catches the florescent lighting and I wonder how it came to be the same grey color as his eyes. Finally, he answers my question.

"Will is…difficult. But family is difficult, too. Will has been like a brother to me my whole life. He just has trust issues. He seems to believe that if you expect nothing than you can never be disappointed. Sarcasm lets him keep people at a distance, and then he never grows attached to them. They can never betray him," he finished looking at me seeming to see if I understood what he was saying or not.

"I get that," I whisper looking down at the floor before looking up at this kind boy with a smile. "Still, you must be some kind of saint if you never get mad at him."

Jem barks out a laugh, "Oh, I wouldn't say that. There have been plenty of times where I've plotted his death."

"How do you restrain yourself?"

"I play music," Jem says. "Playing the violin is like going to another place for me where I can forget about the small worries."

Raising my eyebrow, I contemplate that answer then think back to my argument with Will. "And that works?"

"Not at all, but that I remind myself how easy it would be to smother him and his sleep and I feel a lot better."

We both laugh until our sides hurt as we reach our English room where Will is sitting in his desk waiting for class to begin. He hears us, and looks up. Raising an eyebrow at his friend, he darts his eyes back and forth between the two of us. Jem turns to me and hands me my books which I didn't realize he was still carrying.

"Maybe once you realize how to deal with him, you could hang out with us during fifth period break sometime?"

I take my books and give him a smile. "That might actually be nice. Just make sure to get him a shorter leash."

We part ways with one more smile. I go to my desk, and he goes to his. Will turns around in his seat as Jem sits next to him. Only he isn't looking at Jem. He's looking at me and in a very weird way.

Why do I get the feeling something just got very complicated?


End file.
